The Leader Within

Kristen held the title of the worlds best woman extreme skier for twelve years. Based on this, I was expecting a book on overcoming fear as it relates to her sport. I was pleasantly surprised when I realized it was about “transforming our relationship with fear” to freedom in all areas of our life.

The three key elements introduced in this book of leadership are Character, Relationships, and Tasks. Each element is discussed in detail  elaborating on implementation and impact.  

In my coaching I encourage my clients to balance to their focus between their “Doing” and their “Being”. This is often tricky when society puts so much focus on our productivity and accomplishments. In his book, David Brooks focuses on rebalancing, what he calls, our “resume virtues” and our “eulogy virtues.” It is a good reminder to focus on who we are, not just what we are.

Dr. Chapman is the author of the Best Selling “The 5 Love Languages”. Working together with Dr. White, they have applied the 5 principles to the workplace, focusing on appreciation of team members. 

Like the old saying “Men don’t ask for directions” – women don’t ask for help, what they want, or need. In Babcock’s book she looks at how men and women negotiate differently and how women can shift their approach to get what they need.  

If you ever thought about starting your own business, this is a must read before you take the leap. It drives home the difference between working “IN” the business and working “ON” the business. As a long-time entrepreneurial I can assure you will wear many hats and work many hours.

“The one thing that changes everything.” I love the core message in this book. As Covey states,

“Like a ripple in the pond, trust begins within each of us personally, continues into our relationships, expands into our organizations, extends into our marketplace relationships, and ultimately encompasses our global society.”

As Melinda Gates has traveled around the world the one thing she has found to be true is “If you want to lift a society up, you need to stop keeping women down.” Her book talks about the research and the many ways to lift women up, and the direct impact it has on the society they live in. Providing them with education opportunities, family planning, and jobs is at the core.

Lencioni’s book focuses on organizational health as the number one competitive advantage for an organization. This aligns with my personal view that the environment and culture we live in has a profound impact on our wellbeing and how we interact in it. He provides many practical examples and guidelines to improving organizational health.

This book is a unique approach to a leadership book, as he uses a parable to weave a story about what it means to be a leader.

Written in 2018, Pfeffer explores modern work life and the numerous potential dangers to a company’s most valuable asset, its people. He discusses workplace well-being, work life balance, and how happier employees increase productivity and bottom-line improvement.

Emotional intelligence is an awareness of one’s emotions and the ability to manage them. Social intelligence is a similar awareness and action as it applies to others. Somatic intelligence is an embodied practice as it relates to both. In this book Amanda explores the somatic competency of sensing in our bodies, and how improving our somatic intelligence works to improve our emotional and social intelligence, and our life.

I think the author, Robert Sapolsky, sums up this book best in the following,

“… if you are (a) zebra running for your life, or (a) lion sprinting for your meal, your body’s physiological response mechanisms are superbly adapted for dealing with such short-term physical emergencies. For the vast majority of beasts on this planet, stress is about a short-term crisis, after which it’s either over with or you’re over with. When we sit around and worry about stressful things, we turn on the same physiological response – but they are potentially a disaster when provoked chronically. A large body of evidence suggests that stress-related disease emerges, predominantly, out of the fact that we so often activate a physiological system that has evolved for responding to acute physical emergencies, but we turn it on for months on end, worrying about mortgages, relationships, and promotions.”

Understanding each other in a romantic relationship can sometimes be challenging. This book looks at how we are each wired for love differently, respond to conflict differently, and have different needs and attachment styles. The book presents guiding principles to improve your relationship.

I was so struck by the power of sleep and the lack of it we get, that I decided to add this book to my recommended book list. To summarize Walker’s book, I offer some interesting points:

• The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life span.
• Sleep is the most effective thing we can do to reset our brain and body health each day.
• Humans need consistently more than 7 hours of sleep per night to maintain cognitive performance. Chronic sleep loss is linked to Alzheimer’s, anxiety, depression, strokes, cancer, diabetes, heart attacks, infertility, weight management difficulties and immune deficiency.
• We cannot “sleep back” lost sleep by binge sleeping on the weekends or on vacation.
• REM sleep fuels creativity, alcohol suppresses REM sleep.
• Factors that impact a good night sleep include lighting (turn down the lights in the evening), temperature (turn down the temperature for better sleep), electronic devices (don’t use prior to bedtime), alcohol and caffeine (both sleep disruptors).
• Extreme sleep deprivation cognitively impairs the brain similarly to being legally drunk.

One of my favorite memories as a child was my dad reading Winnie the Pooh to me. So, it is not surprising that I love this book. The best way I can describe this book is a sentence from the forward, “It’s about how to stay happy and calm under all circumstances.” The back sums it up simply, “While Eeyore frets… and Piglet hesitates… and Rabit calculates …and Owl pontificates …Pooh just is.” I have often said it is one of the best Leadership books out there.

The boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse bring together different perspectives, fears, and challenges. Together they teach each other, comfort each other, and open space in their hearts for each other. The story is simple, the drawings are lovely, and the metaphor for all life is spot on.

We all have them, those pesky demons, why not invite them to tea and get to know them in lieu of trying to ignore or push them away. In this lighthearted, easy read, the author supports facing our demons and offers practical ways to shift the story line we live by.

“The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.” As an introvert I found Susan Cain’s book affirming. The extrovert may seek the attention; however, many introverts have made profound changes in society throughout history. Empower the introvert in your life to quietly be all she/he can be.

In this book Dan Siegel integrates neuroscience and psychotherapy to show how we can each change the wiring of our brain to improve every aspect of our life. He has written several books; most I have read and would recommend.

Everyone I know who has read this says the same thing, “Life changing”. It is an easy read that gives us practical tools for letting go of our past, not trying to predict the future, and focusing on living in the now. Our past and future are often based on fear, when we learn to let go of our fears and live in the now, we can find inner peace and love.

Retired? Thinking of retiring? Afraid to retire? This is a great book to explore our next chapter with confidence. It looks at how to identify our gifts and find new creative ways to use them beyond the job that has defined us for so many years.

What if women were the storytellers of human history? What if women had an equal role in the creation of our future? Elizabeth Lesser encourages women to honor their voice and men to listen.

Kelly McGonigal is a psychologist who has written several books on improving our wellbeing. In this book she brings together scientific findings and Eastern wisdom to provide a process for personal transformation.

If you are familiar with my coaching, my Blogs, or my leadership style you know I believe the base for success in all areas of our life is “Self-Awareness”. Clarity and Connection is all about turning inward and developing deeper self-awareness. It is easy to read, can be used as a daily focus, or as a journal prompt.

If you are familiar with my coaching, my Blogs, or my leadership style you know I believe the base for success in all areas of our life is “Self-Awareness”. Clarity and Connection is all about turning inward and developing deeper self-awareness. It is easy to read, can be used as a daily focus, or as a journal prompt.